If you have a weak stomach or don’t want to hear about a birth story in detail then I strongly suggest you stop reading NOW.
It’s the 7th of June and I have just walked into my final appointment at the hospital.
‘We’re going to induce you on the 9th.’
My eyes rapidly started getting the prickling sensation where you feel like you’re holding it together with every bit of will power you have. This was not part of my birth plan, he will come when he is ready, I feel so unprepared, what if something goes wrong? 2 days left with Jaxx isn’t long enough.
Whatever the consultant said to me in those next 5 minutes went in one ear and out of the other.
I rushed home, told my husband and my mum and started to prepare for Wednesday. That night I put Jaxx to bed and sobbed. What have I done? I am so greedy! I have a perfect little boy why have I had to push my luck and have another baby. That catastrophic thinking hit me harder than ever before.
On the Tuesday, Jaxx had an Inset day and daddy was working so I had him all to myself, I made sure we did loads of fun things and I tried to explain to him that mummy had to go to the hospital tomorrow to ‘collect his baby’ he was SO excited, I felt quite silly after that. I’d been so worked up and once again he just proved how amazing he is and only saw the positives. We had a fab day together and throughout the day I found myself just staring at him in amazement, my hormones seemed to really take over my body that day. It got to bedtime and the questions started ‘how long will you be gone?’, ‘Can I come and see you at the doctors?’, ‘who will babysit me?’.
Me and Jaxx haven’t spent more than a night apart in 3 years, I work for myself so I never have to worry about school drop off and pick up, I rarely work weekends and we’ve been in lockdown for the last 18 months, so for me to now go away for a few days is quite a big deal.
*2 hours later* Jaxx is fast asleep in my bed. Daddy is going to be happy about that when he gets home from work…not! Oh well, I’m about to give birth to another baby boy for him, I’m sure he owes me one!
Wednesday arrives, dropped Jaxx off at school – cried again- went home packed the car and off we went to the hospital. I’ll be honest, they aren’t my favourite place in the world and I massively believe I need my own surroundings to get better or stay calm but the hospital and staff were lovely. They had to ask me the typical questions and then get me on the monitor so they could start the induction process.
30 minutes on the monitor and all the baby did was sleep, THE WHOLE TIME. I then had to change position and keep it on for another 30 minutes, after 8 minutes he kicked the monitor off so they didn’t have enough consistency to begin…this is going well. They sent me off for a walk (in the hope the baby would calm down but not fall asleep) once I got back I was on the monitor again, she comes back after 30 minutes and it had only recorded 3 minutes and then ran out of paper. I’d now been sat here for 5 hours and nothing! The midwife was full of apologies, which I didn’t want her to be as it absolutely wasn’t her fault. She made the decision to go ahead with the induction anyway, so I had my first lot of gel. Me and Ash started to pace the hospital, walking up and downstairs, bouncing on the ball, eating spicy food. The midwife popped back at 7 pm to see how I was getting on.
My reply ‘ I’m starting to question if I’m even pregnant. It was the most comfortable and content I’d felt all pregnancy, which was disheartening me slightly because surely I should feel something. It comes to 9 pm and I was due another examination and gel (if needed). The first gel had done the trick and I didn’t need anymore, they just did a sweep (now they are eye-watering) to see if they could start me off myself and put me on the delivery suite list, so now it was just a waiting game!
Thursday arrived, Ash was due at work and the staff told him I would be on delivery today, he called work and let them know he wouldn’t be in so his paternity leave had officially started. At 2 pm they have a handover and the first thing they said to me was ‘delivery is busy, you won’t have a bed until tonight’. So I continued with the walking, drinking lots of water, eating spicy food and bouncing on the ball. 10 pm arrived ‘Delivery is busy, you won’t have a bed until tomorrow’ so guess what I did…CRIED!
Long story short, I was induced with Jaxx and I was in a week, it was awful! When I agreed to be induced again the consultant promised me it wouldn’t be like that again and I would be a top priority due to medical history, my previous label and the size of the baby.
After my major meltdown, the midwife made a call and they had a bed on delivery within the hour, we packed everything up and got in the lift down to the ward.
“So I’ll be having a baby tonight?” the midwife laughed and said, “That’s the plan”.
Got in the room, she popped my waters and said ‘this is your second baby, your body will know what to do, so we will give you 2 hours to go into natural labour, if nothing happens (which is rare) we will put you on the drip’ 2 hours later…literally nothing had happened. NOTHING. Apart from I had about 500 litres of water just leaking out of me every time I moved (I’m not joking) at one point the midwife went and got a mop to clean the floor. I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life as I was at that moment. So, they then put me on the drip and I opted to get as far as possible on just gas & air. Fast forward a few hours and my contractions were steady but the baby was struggling, his heartbeat was dropping and they wanted him out.
The midwife slammed the red button and I kid you not, about 17 doctors and nurses come running into the room. For those that don’t know, the red button is to signal an emergency, it sets off a massive siren throughout the ward and everybody comes flooding into your room and it’s all hands on deck. I’ll be honest I SH*T myself but wow the staff were out of this world, one ran to me to explain what was going on and help me carry on with my labour, another ran over to ash to explain everything was going to be ok because looking at his face he thought I was about to die and the rest of them got on with what they needed to do.
They were trying to convince me to have a C-Section and before labour, I had said to ash unless it is life or death do not let me agree to a section. I heard him asking if it was the only option and they said it wasn’t the only option at the minute but it may get to the point where we have no choice.
The decision was, they were going to take me off the drip so the baby could settle, my body would continue to contract and hopefully, I would give birth naturally. After 2 hours off the drip and the baby’s heartbeat is steady they wanted me back on the drip so I could contract quicker and start to push.
‘If I’m going back on the drip I need pain relief, I am really tired now and my body isn’t cooperating’
I was now being looked after by a midwife and the head consultant, who said he would have to examine me before they let me have pain relief. Now an examination is basically them putting their hand up you and seeing if you’ll be able to push the baby out. This consultant had the BIGGEST hands I’ve ever seen and I was looking at him and thinking surely you don’t have to do it! Anyway, he did and it was painful. “You’re 10cms so I can’t give you any pain relief I want you to push’.
So, at this point, I am still on gas and air, which was just making me throw up everywhere. I was reluctant to push because I had such a bad tear with Jaxx and I openly admitted that to the staff. We all decided it was best for me to have an episiotomy (basically they cut you to make it wider, which makes it easier for the baby to come out, lovely I know). Once they had done that he basically flew right out, the consultant had to catch him.
They put him on my chest, he cried straight away. I was just thankful it was all over and Ash sobbed (he will kill me for saying that). We then all had a little guess on his weight before they put him on the scales.
Are you ready for his weight?… 10 POUNDS AND 3 OZ on just gas and air! How I did not die I will never know, a female’s body is amazing if I do say so myself. I got stitched up, had the amazing tea and toast and off I went to the recovery ward. When I arrived up there I was so high on adrenaline I couldn’t sleep, ash on the other hand did not have that problem so I sent him home. I had to stay in overnight just whilst they got my bloods sorted and discharged notes ready etc…
Baby Wolf 2 didn’t have a name at this point but he was amazing, we had a lovely first night together but come Saturday morning I was ready to get home to Jaxx, they discharged me that afternoon. Jaxx come to collect me and we had a real ‘film’ moment, he ran down the ward, I scooped him up and we both cried. We introduced him to his new brother and off we went to start our journey as a 4.
For now, I will enjoy my little bubble and update you very soon xx